ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
