we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
