She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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