do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize