Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Mom said you looked used
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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