What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
