That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
