you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize