First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
