Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
