in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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