I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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