You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize