i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
