My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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