I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
