I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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