Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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