new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize