Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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