Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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