I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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