just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize