No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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