Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
