I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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