My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
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By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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