I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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