I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
