i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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