meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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