Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
