There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't deserve a penis
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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