where am i from again
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
