When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize