Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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