Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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