all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
