Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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