dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
