Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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