It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
