We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
