therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
