then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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