I'm so fucking centered right now
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
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so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
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My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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