yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him