Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize