The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
