The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
