bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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