Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
