I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
