I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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