Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
