i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
