first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
