She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
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he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
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Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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