Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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