Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
