all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize