i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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