My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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